Waiting to Adopt

By Julie Irwin Zimmerman

Adoption is one of the most thrilling journeys you’ll ever take. It can also be 
nerve wracking in its uncertainty. But if you’re expecting by adoption, whether 
domestic or international, there are ways to make the waiting easier.

Create checklists for paperwork. The paperwork involved in adoption can seem overwhelming: home studies, references, applications, fingerprints. It’s easier if you break it down into manageable pieces. Spend a little time detailing all the information you need to gather, along with deadlines, and cross each part off as you fulfill it. You’ll be surprised how quickly it gets done!

Keep a journal. Someday you’ll want to share with your child what it was like to wait for her arrival. Tina Knaley, an adoption social worker with Graceworks Lutheran Services in Springfield, knows a couple who kept a common journal as they waited for their child, and neither knew when the other was writing in it. “It was really cool that they both did it, and they’ll be able to share with the child someday what the experience was like.”

Pester your social worker. OK, maybe not multiple calls a day, but don’t be afraid to ask for their support, answers, advice. That’s what they’re there for. “I’d rather have people call me than sit there worried or upset,” Knaley says.

If adopting internationally, consult the experts. Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center was one of the first hospitals in the country with an international adoption center, and they provide guidance before, during, and after your child comes home. There are classes and workshops for people just beginning the process, and doctors and social workers will look over referrals and assess pictures, videos and reports for signs of medical or emotional issues. Once your child comes home, Children’s can provide a full evaluation and any necessary 
ongoing care. 

Find other support. Graceworks holds monthly open houses where couples waiting to adopt can come meet each other and ask questions. It also helps to seek out adoptive parents who have been through the process and can lend a sympathetic ear.

Take a baby-care class. Christ Hospital offers a class especially for adoptive parents. In addition to helpful tips, it offers the chance to meet others preparing to adopt.

Buy some essentials. A car seat and some diapers are good to have on hand, especially if you’re 
adopting domestically, since the call can come at any time.

After the baby arrives, take it slow. It’s tempting to throw a party or have out-of-town family come meet the baby, but remember this is a huge adjustment for everyone. It’s best to take it easy and to allow for lots of down time and rest in order to encourage bonding and create a sense of routine. 

When you’re ready, let everyone know. Be sure to send out announcements, and don’t be shy about accepting offers of help. It’s best for you to stay with the baby as much as possible, but
family and friends can clean, cook, and run errands for you. Parenthood is an exciting adventure you’re about to embark upon, and you’ll need lots of energy for it!